Busy Little Bees....

It's been a really busy week, both personally and professionally.  Part of life is change and whether you like it or not, it's going to happen.  Some changes take you up, some down and some feel as though they've placed you into a parallel universe.  No matter the direction, it's something you have to accept.  Adjust your life GPS and move on.  Trying to fight it is like trying to fill a three inch crack in the Hoover Dam with Bazooka Bubble gum.  It never really works out the way you planned and you spend more time patching when you should have been inflating your raft for the inevitable flood.

Monday the 21st was the Total Solar Eclipse that cut a swath across the continental United States.  I can't lie, simply watching totality on a live stream from Oregon on my computer brought tears to my eyes.  For some reason, it felt... well, just right.  It felt complete.  Maybe it felt like the end of something and the beginning of something at the same time.  It's hard to describe, but for that 2 minutes or so, life felt like it has a purpose.

All the turmoil in the world disappeared and we were simply humans, on a planet, watching the sun literally put to sleep and reawaken, refreshed and renewed.  If only the entire world could see how clear it all could be.  How in reality, we are one.  Well, we know that's not going to happen anytime soon, so it's not something to dwell on as much as it's something to hope for.  Yes, hope for humanity is always a good thing.  Like it or not, we're all stuck here on this marble and we've got the exact same destination written on our ticket.

Saturday, the most amazing thing happened.  My good friends Gregory Patrick and Phillip Champlain embarked on the maiden voyage of the Mad Man Knitting Yarn Truck in Orlando, Florida.  Mind you, this is a wholly new business venture for them and they dove into it like a fat kid into a birthday cake buffet.  The amazing part is they did it in 5 weeks.  YES, 5 weeks.  Filming their show Knitter Be Damned for Gregory's Youtube channel Greg mentioned the idea of a mobile yarn shop set up just like so many vegetable trucks you see parked on the side of the road all over the world, except they would sell boutique yarn.  The next day they set up a go fund me and were off and running.  You can read the story and see the amazing photos taken by iknitty.com owner and friend of Phillip,

Laura Monroe over on her blog site.  

http://iknitty.com/iknitty-visits-mad-man-knittings-yarn-truck-maiden-voyage/

Photo borrowed from iknitty.com

There have been a few changes come to the Knitter Be Damned Facebook page itself as of late also.  We had a much-loved member of the KBD community move on to a brighter horizon for herself and her business and we wish her all the best.  We'll miss her, but, it's that change thing rearing it's ugly head again.

The arthritis knots in the palms of my hands are back with a vengeance.  I don't know what I did to piss of the, what my grandmother used to call, Auther's Right Us Gods, but they're pissed and lumpy and hurty (yes, we're making that a word now) and making me want to cry.  Oddly enough I'm having no issues at all typing my normal 60+ wpm, but I pick up a crochet hook or knitting needles and my hands begin to scream at me within half an hour.  This is not good for someone who not only LOVES to play with sticks and yarn but someone who makes a semi-play money living off of it.  That's my to me/from me Christmas gift money.  Not to mention it keeps me occupied so I don't have the overwhelming need to stab someone with a sharp object and end up smoking 3 packs of cigarettes a day.  Such is life.  It hands you shit, make a shit sammich and move on. (Another grandma saying, oh how I love that woman)

I actually managed during all the hoopla of everything to set my life off by a week.  How you ask? Hell, I don't know, it just happened.  

Here I was all excited, ready to relax, choosing bath salts for the long awaited soak in the therapeutic tub.  Surrounded by quiet.  Contemplating all my life has to offer and all the directions I could take it.  Oh sweet mercy, my teenager was starting back to school.  All of her teen angst and attitude would walk out the door for a few hours about the same time my husband would go to work.  Alone time, glorious alone time, at last.  

With the three of us standing in the kitchen, coffee in hand, the child presents this year's school calendar with a look of utter disdain on her face (yeah, that's her normal scowl lately) "Next week, mom!"  With that look akin to a deer in the headlights, I glanced at the paper........... "NO!!"  I was a week off.  She doesn't start school until NEXT WEEK.  Alas, all is well, shit sammich. This is beginning to feel like an "I'm broke and tired of Mac and Cheese week".

Unable to Crochit (knit and/or crochet, not mine, thank Gregory Patrick for that word, it's the best ever) I had to think of something else to occupy my mind and hands. (If you can't tell, I enjoy writing, whether you enjoy reading remains to be seen, but I love it so I'll keep going until I don't love it anymore)  It hit me like a ton of bricks.  I love to get on FB in our Knitter Be Damned group and chat.  We chat about anything and everything.  Life, love, politics, religion, knitting, painting, basically our lives.  Every aspect of our lives from our passions to our accomplishments and even our failures.  We're human, none of us are perfect (even if some claim that they are)  Many times it's been said that our love of crafting and appreciation of Gregory brought us together, but friendship keeps us going.  One of the most prominent topics on our page, second (maybe third) to yarn or politics is FOOD.  Gotta eat and we love to eat.  Fast, easy, cheap and good.  What else is there when you don't want to put down your crafts but you have to because some LAW says you have to give sustenance to that which you birthed.

From that train of thought came the idea of the Knitter Be Damned cookbook.  We're constantly posting about things we made for whatever meal we're about to consume.  Photos, ideas, new foods, old comfort foods.  We are people, we are real, we love to eat and we love to make it fast, easy and tasty.  What better way to honor ourselves as a group than to compile all of our collective knowledge into one place?

After a back and forth with Greg and the realization that this group, these amazing people, made the Yarn Truck idea a reality with ideas, donations and support there was a way we could give back.  Help one of them the way they helped Knitter Be Damned.  We've got a few members whom, in the course of normal conversation, disclosed that they were either tight on money, were in need of something basic or needed some kind of help.  There's not one bit of shame to be had opening up to friends.  We all need an ear to bend once in a while.  Well, we listened and concocted an idea.  

We're gonna do this book.  We're gonna sell this book.  We're gonna take the proceeds from those sales and through an application and voting process, donate that money to one member of our group who needs it, every month.  It may not be much, but it's something and it comes from a place of love and appreciation.

If you have any family recipes, with or without photos you're willing to share, please do.  You'll get full credit (even if you're not a member of Knitter Be Damned).  Either send them to the contact link on this blog, Google +, or email directly to skassabgi@gmail.com.  Thank you so much for being there for us, let us be there for you.  Together, we can make something amazing.

Link time-  If you want to know more about Knitter Be Damned (the show and/or the FB page) or Gregory Patrick or Phillip Champlain and his Strange Friends, all the links are below.  I'll keep them on every post unless something drastic changes.  

Love and Kisses, 

Steff

http://gregorypatrick.bigcartel.com/ - Greg and Phillips shop (Books, Bears and strange Friends)

https://madmanknitting.wordpress.com/ - Gregory Patrick's Blog

https://www.facebook.com/groups/116323758918485/ -Knitter Be Damned FB Page

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCFUcADv2iqffMvDFIF_yQxQ - Gregory Patrick Youtube

http://iknitty.com/ - iknitty.com blog (amazing stuff)

http://www.ravelry.com/designers/neil-james/patterns - Big Daddy Neil James patterns

https://www.etsy.com/ca/shop/TheCraftyChimp?ref=search_shop_redirect -Caroline French's shop

Liberal fence jumping at it's finest...

When I started this blog earlier this week, I saw it as an opportunity to show those who think they know me exactly what they've gotten themselves into by calling me their friend.  It's turned into so much more in such a short time.

Last night in my favorite Knitting/Not knitting/Crochet/Not crochet group on Facebook (Knitter Be Damned, look us up) something akin to a PURGE was conducted.  I label the group this way because yarn and fiber crafts initially brought us together, but it has grown into something so much more.  There are Liberals, Conservatives, Independents, gay, straight, bi, dog lovers, cat lovers ( I think we may even have someone with a squirrel fetish, I'm not sure) my point is, it takes all kinds to make a community.  They migrated to our little slice of FB because we have only 1 rule.  Respect your fellow human being.  Voice your opinions, speak your mind, stomp your feet and vent your frustrations, but don't take it personally and don't get personal.  We had some people that joined that were incapable of following that simple directive so a few buttons were pushed and the shit storm ensued.

What started this shit storm you may ask?  The words... I LOVE TRUMP

You would think that Satan himself flew in from hell on the red eye and farted fire on every baby in a NICU.  Some of these people completely LOST THEIR MINDS.  We're always up for a healthy debate, throwing facts and posting links.  Not necessarily trying to change anyone's mind, but opening their eyes to more than one truth from different angles.  Nope, not happening, within the first couple replies the word IDIOT was thrown out there like fresh poo in the monkey house.  No debate, no information, no facts, just name calling.  No matter what was said, a hard line stand was taken and being defended harder than Davy Crockett defended the Alamo.  With what at stake?  Pride, simple pride.

I've never wanted to be a political blogger.  I never intended on writing anything political at all, but when my friends and I are discussing politics and are attacked like we're wearing Lady Gaga's raw meat dress to a dog fight, it's time to speak out.  I chose to do this here on my blog because the people that matter will read it from the link I'll post on the FB page and it keeps my dear friends out of the line of fire.  Gregory Patrick has had enough of that.  He was personally attacked and a campaign to destroy his reputation and livelihood undertaken by a group of women who didn't like a "pussy hat" comment he made.  (I'll say more on that later)  This is me, all me and if you don't like it, have the cojones (co-ho-nays) to call me out directly, if not, you've proven my point for me.

Yes, I jumped the fence.  I was a die hard Liberal/Democrat for a decade.  Believe in governmental action to achieve equal opportunity and equality for all, and that it is the duty of the State to alleviate social ills and to protect civil liberties and individual and human rights. Believe the role of the government should be to guarantee that no one is in need.

Then my daughter was born in 2001.  I was working 50+ hours a week, my bring home pay was $685 every 2 weeks.  Not 1 program in Massachusetts did I qualify for.  No daycare discount, food stamps, rental assistance, nothing.  I made too much money, so it was hand to mouth, paycheck to paycheck and robbing Peter to pay Paul.  (Pay 1/2 the light bill so I could put gas in my car, then pay half the gas bill to pay over due on the light bill, you get the idea)  I fancied calling it "Creative Financing".
Then a few laws were passed in MA, a full on Blue state.  If you were an illegal alien, no green card, no visa no work permit you were eligible for everything.  Free food, shelter, medical care and because you were illegal and couldn't get a job, help with your lights, gas, phone, cable, and internet.  Befuddled I realized that these people who didn't even come to the state legally were being given everything on MY DIME.  I was paying more taxes to cover the costs of their lifestyle and they were living better than I was.  Programs I didn't qualify for they were getting for free without restriction because "they needed the help".  That was the beginning of the end of my relationship with Liberalism.

With every year that passed since then, I've gone further and further over the fence.  Immigration and the refugee situation.  Healthcare.  All of the groups that have come out of the woodwork demanding what they contrive to be "EQUAL" rights.  Hate to tell you, equal rights means EQUAL.  It doesn't mean you get more or are to be considered special, it means you are JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE.  The US Constitution gives everyone the right to Life, Liberty and the PURSUIT of Happiness.  It does not give you the RIGHT TO HAPPINESS.  It's not the government's job to make your life easier or to ensure that you're happy.  YOU HAVE TO TAKE SOME PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY.

The final fling over that great divide was the "OFFENDED" bull shit.  You can't say this, that or the other because someone might get offended.  Do you know what that really means?  Awww, don't hurt his widdle feewings.  At what point did it become the job of every other human being to make sure you don't get upset.  You know what...it's your right to get upset.  Just like it's the right of the person to say what they said to upset you.  You can't pick and choose whose rights supersede whose. 

Laws are being passed, not only in the US but Canada also that remove all thinking and common sense from the individual.  My personal favorite at the moment is the Walking while texting laws that have cropped up like Kudzu in a hot Georgia forest.  If you choose to text while you're walking down a sidewalk and you step into traffic without looking up from your phone, who's fault is it?  Why is it necessary for the government to spend the money to research, write up, pass, implement and enforce a law that should be common sense to the masses?  You're requesting nay demanding that the government take care of you as if you're a child so you don't have to think, and on everyone else's dime.  I'm not even going to touch the laws that have come about regarding how to raise children in a way that turns them into complete unthinking idiots with no sense of true value other than "I'm special"

Speaking of "I'm Special".  On to our current POTUS. I say OUR because while I live in Canada I am still and always will be a US Citizen.  I love the United States and I love Canada and I have had the amazing opportunity to live in both.  Now, on to the show.

Whether you voted for him or not, whether you like him or not.  He holds the role of Commander in Chief of the US Armed Forces and President of the United States.  The office itself deserves due respect and it's an extremely UnAmerican sentiment to disparage either post.  As for the man himself, there are a few truths that you're really not going to like and as stated above, it's as much your right not to like them as it is for mine to state them.

He won the election.  "But, not by popular vote!" you scream.  I say, "He's not the first and he won't be the last to hold that particular distinction."  It's a simple (not really that simple) matter of demographics.  The right number of votes in the right places to secure the electoral college votes and boom, you're in.  It's been like this for centuries and no matter how much you scream, yell and stomp your feet on social media, it's not going to change until someone decides to take it under their wing and enact change.

Have you ever had a friend tell you "OMG, you have to meet this person, they're just like you, you'll have so much in common!" and you finally give in and go meet that person and CAN'T STAND BEING IN THE SAME ROOM WITH THEM?  Yeah, I have too.  Psychologists will tell you you can't stand that person BECAUSE they are just like you.  We tend to dislike and exaggerate the characteristics in others that we don't like in ourselves.  I'll let you mull that over for a moment and reread it if necessary.

Donald J Trump is NOT a politician.  He's human.  He's a business man.  He's an American. I repeat he's an American.  For decades it's been said, if you're an American tourist, don't announce that you're American.  Some places don't like Americans.  They're brash, rude, self-important, speak without thinking, self-centered, self-entitled, chest thumping bullies, unrefined blowhards.  Sound familiar?

Believe it or not, the majority of Americans are all of the above and more.  But, they also care about their country and family.  They will go to the mat to defend what they believe in and they really do want something better.  In a society of NOW NOW NOW, that's not the easiest thing to accomplish.  The collective gets an idea in their head and they want it yesterday and there's quite a bit of fumbling along with 2 steps forward and 1 step back.

You heard a lot of Trump supporters saying during the election "He says what's on his mind."  That's true.  Straight pipe from the brain to the lips, no deviation, no filter to soften the blow.  I don't agree with everything he says, but it's my right not to... (yeah, if you've come this far, I think you get the gist)  On more rare occasions I heard someone say "He says out loud, what other people say behind closed doors"  I think that's a more accurate description.

Hypocrisy has become a way of life in North America, it had to.  With the laws being passed against free speech and to avoid hurting someone's feelings and candy coating everything to make it easier to swallow, life, in general, has become an obstacle course to be navigated with a touch so delicate as not to break the web that's been woven fearing society will fall apart.  We did this, we made this happen, we brought this on.  Every single one of us by inaction.  Being a keyboard warrior is not action, it's not social justice, it's pissing and moaning on the internet from the comfort of your home/office/coffee shop while drinking Diet Cokes, lattes and $9 coffees.

The majority of Americans ARE NOT the refined, well dressed, well mannered, articulate, clean cut, high school prom king and queen types that so many people think of with dreams of the Nuclear family, white picket fence, 2 kids mom and dad.  We're messy.  We're single parents, exhausted from being over worked and under paid.  There are narcissistic parents, over zealous mall security guards, hell, an array of irritations and troubles that interrupt those daytime fantasies. We want more and most of us deserve more.  The catch 22 is, to have more you have to give more of yourself, you can't expect the government to do everything for you, it's not a sustainable model.  Unlike what's being taught to our children, life IS NOT fair.  There are winners and there are losers and the real difference between the two is who really wanted it more.  Life is full of irritations and you can't always have what you want and many people choose to deal with that with attitude.

Like it or not, from this point of view, Trump IS AMERICA, you don't have to like it and I know some of you don't.  (I'm picturing so many ways being contrived regarding my demise)  He is all those things that the world sees America as and even we ourselves see it and we hate it.  So with the need for hypocrisy, all that hate and disdain we see for ourselves we deflect.  He's your friend's friend.  You hate him because he's everything you hate about yourself.

I'm not going to go into an/or discuss the election or accusations about either party.  In the here and now, they are a moot point.  Screaming but this and that does nothing to further the goals for this great land.  Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness are your rights.  You have life, you have liberty and how you choose to pursue happiness is up to you and you alone.  If you're happy being miserable, I'm happy for you.  If you're not, get off your ass and change it.

Thanks for reading.

Lies by omission.... It's still a thing apparently

The decline of one of the largest and most respected companies in the world is written on the wall, nay, it is carved in stone for all eternity.

I remember the smell and feel of the perfumes, bubble baths, lotions and creams of Avon.  They still have one of the most recognized beauty lines in the world.  Their independent sales reps were some of the most coveted of friends.  If you had an Avon Lady, you were set.  You had all your beauty needs at your finger tips.  

Who doesn't remember grabbing an Avon campaign booklet and circling everything you wanted and just waiting and hovering by your door or phone for her to call and take your order or telling you she would be by tomorrow with your delivery?

These women worked.  They worked HARD.  Cultivating customer relationships and later, forming a "team" that they could send amongst the masses to introduce and sell this amazing and ever growing line of products to.  The harder you work, the more time you invest, the more rewards you reap.  That's business.  You could take pride in how hard you worked and that gained you an even more coveted spot on the list.

In the United States (not sure about other countries at the moment), Avon gives their reps and individual website and all the materials and information to do all this from home.  There are women who never sell face to face.  They can strategically place those little books and flyers everywhere with their website address and e-mail address on a sticker on the back and people can grab the book, go online, order, pay and it's delivered right to their front door without ever seeing their rep face to face or talking on the phone.  This is the way society is now.  All digital, all the time and we seem to not only like it, we thrive on it. 

Avon Canada promotes all these New and exciting opportunities for advertising your home business online.  Blast it on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest, blogs.  Make yourself known, set out those campaign booklets (50 cents to $1.35 each, gotta spend money to make money).  Cultivate customer relationships, send email brochures, sell yourself and the Avon brand.

For someone like me, who LOVES being online and has Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest and a Blog, this was a dream.  I could do what I love and make a few dollars to buy the Avon products I know and love.  Sounds great right?  

I spent 2 days researching on the internet.  Watching youtube videos, reading articles and blogs, making sure that this was something I was willing to put my time and effort into.  Surprisingly, I found very little in any of these places about Avon Canada.  Avon in the US is EVERYWHERE.  Websites, blogs, videos, every ounce of social media you can imagine.  I learned that Avon Canada, Avon US, and Avon Puerto Rico are all owned by the same Corporate company. (apparently, other countries around the world are under the Avon banner, but owned by separate entities)  I thought THIS IS AWESOME.  I may be able to hit this running on an entire continent.  I know folks.  If they don't want to jump on as a rep on my team, I'll make em a customer.  Few bucks here and a few there.  It all adds up.

My first red flag was when I send an email to corporate Avon Canada asking about continental reach for customers and team building and 3 days later, NO RESPONSE.  Hmmm, interesting.  I'm thinking, maybe it got lost in the shuffle, so I made a couple phone calls to Avon Canada reps here in Montreal and ask my questions.  Quite a bit of confusion.  No one could answer my questions.  Hmmm, interesting.  The next step was to go on the Avon Canada Facebook page and request a rep from either corporate or with knowledge of the company to please pm me, I had questions.  I made it clear that I didn't want or need a sales pitch, I'd done the research and I'd like a few answers to help with my final decision.

Half an hour later I get a pm on Facebook from a sweet and kind young lady in British Columbia. ( I thought this was odd, considering I'm in Quebec, but oh well, she speaks English, awesome)  Through my messaging conversation with her, I learned that Avon Canada is ONLY for Canada, you can't sell to or recruit anyone outside Canada.  I mentioned, that it was alright, I know quite a few stay at home moms here in Montreal and through FB, Twitter, my knit and crochet groups I knew quite a few people.  This could still work.  She touted all the wonderful things social media had done for all the Avon Canada reps across the country.

After another couple hours of reading and searching, I decided to do this.  Great opportunity and no money up front.  (Some kind of join free promotion)  Since I was the only one that could answer my questions I gave her a call and did what needed to be done to become an Avon Canada Rep.  I was EXCITED!! Looking forward to blasting all of social media with product lines and promotions and sales and all the fun stuff I love to do on a daily basis.  Blogging and maybe doing short videos about how great it is to be a member of an amazing company by women and for women.

Then.... it began to creep in.  All the things that were omitted not said and skirted around.  AND the real reason you don't find much online about Avon Canada.  I can't and won't say that it's a flat out LIE.  It's a lie by omission.

I created an email address, twitter handle, Pinterest board, FB page, yeah, I ran it all.  Went onto the Avon.ca website, logged into my account and placed an order for a starter kit, samples, books, all of it.  Everything I would need to get this thing up and running full force.  I messaged my leader because I couldn't find the link or any information on the website for a web address to give to customers or place on a sticker on a flyer/book/card that would direct a customer or potential team member to MY site for sales or information.  That's when everything I had been told began to unravel.

I could cut and paste the conversation here for all to read and trust me it's a good read.  Many attempts to skirt the issues, claims that this or that was said, cut and paste of the previous conversation (so there was no doubt as to what was said).  I'll shorten this post by simple bullet points.

• YOU WON'T GET A SITE, you have to have your customers go to Avon.ca and register as a new customer.  
• You can have a personalized web address through a company called Intravon.ca for $26 a year
• All Intravon is is a ROUTING page, no HTML no graphics, just your name and a SHOP NOW button that sends the customer to the Avon.ca website where they have to register
• NONE of YOUR information is included in that routing, during registration the customer has to click a little radio button saying that they know a rep.  If they happen to find that button during registration they have to fill in your information themselves.
• If the customer happens to not see that little button, they are assigned a random rep in the area. (YES, you read right, they miss a tiny button on the page and someone else gets the customer that YOU cultivated and spent money on materials for)
• Customers CAN NOT pay for their orders on the site.  No Interac, no credit cards, nothing.  They order and you get an email to approve, finalize and submit the order.
• Everything is shipped to YOU.  There is no option for direct shipping to the customer's home/office or other destination.
• YOU have to go hunt down the customer, collect the money and when ready, hand deliver the product.

After I find this out, I ask about the huge push on social media.  If I cultivate a customer on social media that lives in another province across the country, what do I do if they actually manage to find the little button and use me as their rep?

Why the answer is simple.  I have to CALL the customer and have them transfer the money to me by Paypal, Interac etransfer or some other method.  Finalize and submit the order with Avon.ca.  Once the order comes in, I have to repackage it, take it to Canada Post and ship it to the customer.  All fees for this come out of MY pocket.

So, in a nutshell, Avon Canada really is the Avon you remember from your mother and grandmother. They're about 10 years behind in technology, distribution, and information.  The ONLY way you can ensure that you're getting your customers and team members is to hoof it door to door like they did 25+ years ago.  Only in your neighborhood with your friends and your family.  The only person making any money in this company by women/for women is Avon Canada.

I looked up the libel laws in Canada and for any entity to come after me for posting this, they have to prove that it's an exaggeration or lie.  Yeah, that's not gonna happen.  There's documentation.  They would have to completely revamp their entire business model and back date it to yesterday.  I'll gladly take a libel hit if that happens because it would mean a world of difference to literally MILLIONS of women in Canada.  (oh yeah, there WILL be a video of this on you tube also)

So, yes Virginia, there is a reason you don't find much information on Avon Canada on the internet.

Wildly unpopular opinions and rants......

Here we go with the unpopular opinions....

Thank goodness that this is MY blog and unless I disparage someone in particular or bad mouth a company it is understood that this is my opinion and my opinion alone.  (Not really, but I'll voice it anyway)

So this morning I woke up wondering how I could help my 2 friends in Florida with me being in Canada.  Between exchange rates and school starting for my daughter at the end of this month, money is a bit tight for this month.  Teenagers cost quite a bit more than one would expect and unless you have one currently or have had one in the last 10 years, it's a bit difficult to comprehend.

I have a set of knitting needles that I haven't even taken out of the package in 2 years, they're still in pristine condition, but I digress....  A couple of other friends design and sell patterns.  

My friends in Florida came up with a brilliant idea to start a mobile yarn shop.  Being the energetic, talented, gung ho person that Gregory Patrick is, he calculated (down to the dollar) how much it would cost to get this operation up and running.  He's run himself to the bone making phone calls, sending emails and putting this plan into motion.  He even started a Go Fund Me page.  He and his husband Phillip Champlain already bust their butts creating, marketing and selling Strange Friends and knit Teddy Bears.  This is what they do for a living.  Gregory is a published author and EVERY DAY this man is up early either working with yarns to create what's been ordered or marketing what needs to be sold to pay their bills and make it day to day.  He does it because he loves it.

I came up with the idea to help by organizing a Raffle, donating the needles I don't use and our other friends and they're supporters donating patterns for free to raffle off.  For a $3 donation to the Go Fund Me page, you would get a ticket and at the end of the week, we would draw random names to win the prizes.  We got shot down.  They are a for profit page.  They're entrepreneurs and hard workers who are busting their asses to make the American Dream a reality for themselves.  Looking to not only help themselves but give their community something unique and original. 

I have no real issue with being told NO, I can't do something when there's solid reasoning behind it.  I have seen Go Fund Me pages for Disney vacations, nicer cars, weddings, honeymoons, Christmas and birthday gifts for kids, family reunions and more.  Basically, people begging for money for shit they can't afford, aren't willing to work for and in a nutshell, don't deserve.

Churches hold raffles, community outreach programs hold raffles and these are designed to "get the roof fixed", created baskets and buy toys for the needy, so on and so forth.  Don't get me wrong, if you want to help, by all means, it's your right to determine where your money goes.  Nonprofit organizations are great.  Then you have the "Jack and Jill" type raffles where a couple has a party charging a cover charge and a raffle to collect money for a wedding or honeymoon.  Those are apparently OK.  Using a raffle, silent auction or other system offering prizes for donations is alright as long it's for something frivolous.  But put together something to help friends create a business that will pay taxes and generate income for not only suppliers and property owners, it's a no go.

But, alas, rules are rules, no matter how confusing and open ended.  I'm asking you, to please, help the guys.  If you're not familiar with Gregory Patrick and Phillip Champlain, click the links below and learn about them.  Buy a bear, buy a book, buy a Strange Friend or simply Donate $5 to their cause.  Make the American Dream a reality for 2 great guys.  Thanks.

https://www.gofundme.com/two-rednecks-and-a-yarn-truck

http://gregorypatrick.bigcartel.com/

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCFUcADv2iqffMvDFIF_yQxQ

Sometimes it needs to be dropped...

There comes a time in everyone's life when it's just inappropriate to cuss.  Be it around your kids, your parents, your boss or church.  Here's a fun solution.  Anytime, anywhere, with silence, feel free to drop that F BOMB.  Throw it at your significant other, toss it at your children, your dog, and even your cat.  Feel free to throw that F Bomb about willy nilly without any of the repercussions of yelling it out loud at someone.

This pattern is knitted flat and stitched up the back, so no worries if you can't knit in the round yet.  You'll get there, but you don't have to know how to right now to create your very own F Bomb.

The size of the bomb will depend on your gauge, needle size, yarn size and firmness of stuffing.  It will range between baseball and softball size.  Each one is unique to you.

Things you do need to know:
K - Knit
P - Purl
Change colors (I'll explain how)
sewing for assembly
crochet chain stitch  (or you can make a knitted i-cord) you only need about 2 1/2 inches of this

Materials:
Size US 6/ 4.0 mm knitting needles
Size G/ 4.25mm crochet hook (if making crochet chain for fuse)
Worsted/Aran #4 yarn (I use Red Heart, yeah, told you, I'm bad) in Black/Charcoal/Dark Grey
Worsted/Aran #4 yarn in a bright color (I used Red) you only need about 24 inches
Worsted/Aran #4 yarn in white/cream/beige (for the fuse) you need about 12 inches
Polyfill or your preferred stuffing
Yarn needle for assembly


Working from the top CO 8

Knit 4 rows (back and forth) this will be the top "nub" of your piece.

R5  kfb (knit front and back loop increase)  8 times  (16)
R6 and every even row Purl
R7  *k1, kfb* repeat * to * around  (24)
R9  *k2, kfb* repeat * to * around  (32)
R11  *k3, kfb* repeat * to * around  (40)
R13 *k4, kfb* repeat * to * around  (48)
R15  *k4, kfb* repeat * to * around (56)

R17  Knit 28, attach contrast yarn (insert the needle into stitch 29 and instead of grabbing the dark color, draw through the contrast yarn) Knit 7 stitches in the contrast yarn, switch back to the main color, the same way as you did for the contrast color and Knit 21.

R18  Purl 21, switch colors-purl 7, switch to main color purl 28
R19  K33, switch color, K2, switch to the main color, knit 21
R20  Purl 21, switch colors, P2, switch to the main color, purl 33
R21  Knit 28, switch colors, K7, switch to the main color, knit 21
R22  Purl 21, Switch color, P2, switch to the main color, purl 33
R23  Knit 33, switch colors, K2, switch to the main color, knit 21
R24  Purl 21, switch colors, P2, switch to the main color, purl 33
R25  Knit 33, switch colors, K2, switch to the main color, knit 21
R26  Purl 21, switch colors, P2, switch to the main color, purl 33
R27  Knit 33, switch colors, K2, switch to the main color, knit 21
R28  Purl 21, switch colors, P2, switch to the main color, purl 33

The F is now complete, you'll only work with the darker color to the end.

R29 *k5, k2tog (knit 2 stitches together)* repeat * to * around (48)
R30  and every even row Purl
R31  *k4, k2tog*  repeat * to * around (40)
R33  *k3, k2tog*  repeat * to * around (32)
R35  *k2, k2tog*  repeat * to * around (24)
R37  k2tog around (12)

Cut the yarn with a 12 to 18-inch tail, thread the 12 live stitches on your knitting needle onto the yarn needle and pull the tail through the stitches snugly.  With right sides facing stitch up the seam on the back of the "bomb" 1/2 to 3/4 of an inch from the top.

With the light color yarn, either crochet or i-cord a 2 to 2 1/2 inch "fuse", attach it the center with the "fuse" part sticking out of the "inside/right facing sides".  When you turn it right side out, there will be a fuse sticking out the top of your bomb.

Turn the bomb right side out and begin to stuff it through the opening.  Stuff it firmly, but not so much as to show the stuffing through the stitches.

Once stuffed to your liking, stitch up the remaining hole in the seam and make sure the fuse is attached securely.  Smush it around in your hands to ensure the stuffing is nice and even.

Now, feel free to drop the F Bomb anywhere you like.

If you love this pattern and wish to reward me for my work in any way, help out my good friends with their dream.  It would be greatly appreciated.

https://www.gofundme.com/two-rednecks-and-a-yarn-truck

Feel free to create and sell these toys as you wish, but DO NOT redistribute this pattern, either digital or hard copy.  This Pattern is free, do not copy and sell the pattern itself for any reason.  Do not include either a digital or hard copy of this pattern in any subscription based format.  Feel free to provide a link to the pattern on any websites, email or digital media routing back to this page.  Thank you for understanding.