Wildly unpopular opinions and rants......

Here we go with the unpopular opinions....

Thank goodness that this is MY blog and unless I disparage someone in particular or bad mouth a company it is understood that this is my opinion and my opinion alone.  (Not really, but I'll voice it anyway)

So this morning I woke up wondering how I could help my 2 friends in Florida with me being in Canada.  Between exchange rates and school starting for my daughter at the end of this month, money is a bit tight for this month.  Teenagers cost quite a bit more than one would expect and unless you have one currently or have had one in the last 10 years, it's a bit difficult to comprehend.

I have a set of knitting needles that I haven't even taken out of the package in 2 years, they're still in pristine condition, but I digress....  A couple of other friends design and sell patterns.  

My friends in Florida came up with a brilliant idea to start a mobile yarn shop.  Being the energetic, talented, gung ho person that Gregory Patrick is, he calculated (down to the dollar) how much it would cost to get this operation up and running.  He's run himself to the bone making phone calls, sending emails and putting this plan into motion.  He even started a Go Fund Me page.  He and his husband Phillip Champlain already bust their butts creating, marketing and selling Strange Friends and knit Teddy Bears.  This is what they do for a living.  Gregory is a published author and EVERY DAY this man is up early either working with yarns to create what's been ordered or marketing what needs to be sold to pay their bills and make it day to day.  He does it because he loves it.

I came up with the idea to help by organizing a Raffle, donating the needles I don't use and our other friends and they're supporters donating patterns for free to raffle off.  For a $3 donation to the Go Fund Me page, you would get a ticket and at the end of the week, we would draw random names to win the prizes.  We got shot down.  They are a for profit page.  They're entrepreneurs and hard workers who are busting their asses to make the American Dream a reality for themselves.  Looking to not only help themselves but give their community something unique and original. 

I have no real issue with being told NO, I can't do something when there's solid reasoning behind it.  I have seen Go Fund Me pages for Disney vacations, nicer cars, weddings, honeymoons, Christmas and birthday gifts for kids, family reunions and more.  Basically, people begging for money for shit they can't afford, aren't willing to work for and in a nutshell, don't deserve.

Churches hold raffles, community outreach programs hold raffles and these are designed to "get the roof fixed", created baskets and buy toys for the needy, so on and so forth.  Don't get me wrong, if you want to help, by all means, it's your right to determine where your money goes.  Nonprofit organizations are great.  Then you have the "Jack and Jill" type raffles where a couple has a party charging a cover charge and a raffle to collect money for a wedding or honeymoon.  Those are apparently OK.  Using a raffle, silent auction or other system offering prizes for donations is alright as long it's for something frivolous.  But put together something to help friends create a business that will pay taxes and generate income for not only suppliers and property owners, it's a no go.

But, alas, rules are rules, no matter how confusing and open ended.  I'm asking you, to please, help the guys.  If you're not familiar with Gregory Patrick and Phillip Champlain, click the links below and learn about them.  Buy a bear, buy a book, buy a Strange Friend or simply Donate $5 to their cause.  Make the American Dream a reality for 2 great guys.  Thanks.

https://www.gofundme.com/two-rednecks-and-a-yarn-truck

http://gregorypatrick.bigcartel.com/

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCFUcADv2iqffMvDFIF_yQxQ

Sometimes it needs to be dropped...

There comes a time in everyone's life when it's just inappropriate to cuss.  Be it around your kids, your parents, your boss or church.  Here's a fun solution.  Anytime, anywhere, with silence, feel free to drop that F BOMB.  Throw it at your significant other, toss it at your children, your dog, and even your cat.  Feel free to throw that F Bomb about willy nilly without any of the repercussions of yelling it out loud at someone.

This pattern is knitted flat and stitched up the back, so no worries if you can't knit in the round yet.  You'll get there, but you don't have to know how to right now to create your very own F Bomb.

The size of the bomb will depend on your gauge, needle size, yarn size and firmness of stuffing.  It will range between baseball and softball size.  Each one is unique to you.

Things you do need to know:
K - Knit
P - Purl
Change colors (I'll explain how)
sewing for assembly
crochet chain stitch  (or you can make a knitted i-cord) you only need about 2 1/2 inches of this

Materials:
Size US 6/ 4.0 mm knitting needles
Size G/ 4.25mm crochet hook (if making crochet chain for fuse)
Worsted/Aran #4 yarn (I use Red Heart, yeah, told you, I'm bad) in Black/Charcoal/Dark Grey
Worsted/Aran #4 yarn in a bright color (I used Red) you only need about 24 inches
Worsted/Aran #4 yarn in white/cream/beige (for the fuse) you need about 12 inches
Polyfill or your preferred stuffing
Yarn needle for assembly


Working from the top CO 8

Knit 4 rows (back and forth) this will be the top "nub" of your piece.

R5  kfb (knit front and back loop increase)  8 times  (16)
R6 and every even row Purl
R7  *k1, kfb* repeat * to * around  (24)
R9  *k2, kfb* repeat * to * around  (32)
R11  *k3, kfb* repeat * to * around  (40)
R13 *k4, kfb* repeat * to * around  (48)
R15  *k4, kfb* repeat * to * around (56)

R17  Knit 28, attach contrast yarn (insert the needle into stitch 29 and instead of grabbing the dark color, draw through the contrast yarn) Knit 7 stitches in the contrast yarn, switch back to the main color, the same way as you did for the contrast color and Knit 21.

R18  Purl 21, switch colors-purl 7, switch to main color purl 28
R19  K33, switch color, K2, switch to the main color, knit 21
R20  Purl 21, switch colors, P2, switch to the main color, purl 33
R21  Knit 28, switch colors, K7, switch to the main color, knit 21
R22  Purl 21, Switch color, P2, switch to the main color, purl 33
R23  Knit 33, switch colors, K2, switch to the main color, knit 21
R24  Purl 21, switch colors, P2, switch to the main color, purl 33
R25  Knit 33, switch colors, K2, switch to the main color, knit 21
R26  Purl 21, switch colors, P2, switch to the main color, purl 33
R27  Knit 33, switch colors, K2, switch to the main color, knit 21
R28  Purl 21, switch colors, P2, switch to the main color, purl 33

The F is now complete, you'll only work with the darker color to the end.

R29 *k5, k2tog (knit 2 stitches together)* repeat * to * around (48)
R30  and every even row Purl
R31  *k4, k2tog*  repeat * to * around (40)
R33  *k3, k2tog*  repeat * to * around (32)
R35  *k2, k2tog*  repeat * to * around (24)
R37  k2tog around (12)

Cut the yarn with a 12 to 18-inch tail, thread the 12 live stitches on your knitting needle onto the yarn needle and pull the tail through the stitches snugly.  With right sides facing stitch up the seam on the back of the "bomb" 1/2 to 3/4 of an inch from the top.

With the light color yarn, either crochet or i-cord a 2 to 2 1/2 inch "fuse", attach it the center with the "fuse" part sticking out of the "inside/right facing sides".  When you turn it right side out, there will be a fuse sticking out the top of your bomb.

Turn the bomb right side out and begin to stuff it through the opening.  Stuff it firmly, but not so much as to show the stuffing through the stitches.

Once stuffed to your liking, stitch up the remaining hole in the seam and make sure the fuse is attached securely.  Smush it around in your hands to ensure the stuffing is nice and even.

Now, feel free to drop the F Bomb anywhere you like.

If you love this pattern and wish to reward me for my work in any way, help out my good friends with their dream.  It would be greatly appreciated.

https://www.gofundme.com/two-rednecks-and-a-yarn-truck

Feel free to create and sell these toys as you wish, but DO NOT redistribute this pattern, either digital or hard copy.  This Pattern is free, do not copy and sell the pattern itself for any reason.  Do not include either a digital or hard copy of this pattern in any subscription based format.  Feel free to provide a link to the pattern on any websites, email or digital media routing back to this page.  Thank you for understanding.

You say it's your Birthday? It's my birthday too......

I did not survive another year......

Sitting here on the morn of my 46th year walking this earth has thrown my brain into a tailspin of reflection and contemplation.

I awoke this morning with an overwhelming sense of peace and quiet.  This hasn't happened in quite a while.  I'm usually up at 5 am and in bed by 10.  Oh yes, boys and girls, I'm one of those "feels older than I look" type people that thrive on a schedule.

Yes, there is the everlasting and nagging pain in my shoulder and in my lower back, but I know those will never subside or go away.  The best I can hope for is that lovely ebb and flow of relief through the day from sitting, standing or bending into the "sweet spot" position that gives momentary relief and lets me pretend, if for just a moment, that I'm not in pain.

A few things before I delve into the reason for the peace and quiet this morning....  The name of the blog.  I know there are some of you that will see the word FAT and get completely butt hurt and upset thinking you have the need or right to be "offended" for me or I have no right to use that word in relation to describing myself.  To those "keyboard warriors" I simply say, ummmm, fuck you.  I have the right to describe myself, my personality and/or my appearance any damn way I choose and if you don't like it or it offends you, so be it, don't read any further because I guarantee you that by the end of this and probably every post on this blog you will want to start a petition to make me the evilest bitch on the earth.  I am fat, no acronyms, no switch in meaning, simply fat.  I'm a whopping 5'5" and weight 190.  Got boobs, got hips, got a belly.  Granted down from an all time high of 275, but still, fat.  I don't need anyone to sugar coat it and make it pleasant for me.  I like how I am, shit, I LOVE how I am.  I could be a bit healthier, but I'm doing alright.

I knit.  I crochet. I love to paint t-shirts and other clothing and household items.  For the BAD part of it.... I'm better at some of those things than others, but I love them all and have an overwhelming passion for them and I'm in the process of starting a site to sell the items I make.

Now for the original reason for the post.

I started thinking about starting a blog/journal/conversation, whatever we're calling it these days, about a week ago.  I wasn't sure if I had anything to say that anyone else would be interested in.  Then I thought long and hard about some of the other blogs that I've read and scanned over.  None of them have anything overly interesting to the general public, but all of them in one way or another have a strong niche following.  Be they pattern collectors, #crochitters, youtube watchers, cooks, housewives, mothers or fathers, there is someone out there just like you.  Throwing all the "snowflake" bullshit out the window, there are over 7 billion people on this planet and the chances that you are so individual that there's no one like you is, oh I don't know, 1 in 7,000,000,000.  Come on, get over yourself.

I, just like everyone on this planet, have had ups and downs in my life.  A few know parts of my story and I may, if inclined at a later date, will share a few here and there.  The point is, everyone has ups and downs.  Some have more downs than ups and for some, it's the opposite, but everyone has tides to their emotions and situations.  Good and bad, highs and lows.  It's the one thing you can be guaranteed of, like death and taxes.  For many years I focused on the DOWNS.  Narcissistic family, financial issues, infidelity (not me, Oh my, no) just a laundry list of bad things over and over again for years at a time.  Combine that with, not just low, but rock bottom self-esteem and you have a recipe for disaster.  A vicious circle of not believing I was deserving of good things because good things never came my way, over and over again.

Then an epiphany.  Screw this, it's affecting my health, how I raise my daughter, how I interact with people.  I stopped caring what others thought of me.  I stopped keeping my mouth shut.  I started doing what I loved.  Guess what....  All those good things came around.  Yes, there are still ups and down, highs and lows, but I don't focus on the bad or the past.  The bad is only there for a moment and the past can't be changed.  TODAY....RIGHT NOW.  What can I do to make myself smile at this moment?

This year I stepped out of my comfort zone and Put my mug to the camera and did videos for someone that I admire and adore.  The more videos I did, the more of my true personality came out.  (I'll put all his links at the end, hopefully, you enjoy him as much as I do)  I put myself out there and people reacted, in a positive way.  I've made friends that I would go to the mat for and they would do the same for me.  My world has expanded beyond my front door and I'm loving it.  I find reasons to smile and laugh every day.  I speak about my passions and opinions, I hold nothing back and people accept it.  They don't always agree, but that's life.  Snowflakes, remember?

So this year, when I awoke and finally rolled out of bed, got my coffee and lit a cigarette and said to myself  "Well girlie, you survived yet another year."  My new self stepped in and yelled as loud as she could "NO!!!  You did not SURVIVE another year!!  YOU LIVED!!!"

She's right.  I did not survive.  The definition of survival is having the bare necessities. Food, shelter, clothing and the basics.  I went way beyond that.  Wonderful husband, home, healthy child, love, laughter, joy and true happiness.  These things are not survival, they are LIVING in the rawest and most honest way one can.  I have friends who love me, constant laughter and the joy of making a bit of money doing what I love.  Yes, I LIVED this past year and I plan to live for a lot more.


https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCFUcADv2iqffMvDFIF_yQxQ  
Knitter Be Damned show on Gregory Patrick's Youtube.com channel


If you have a blog or shop that you want out there, please post a link in the comments, get the word out.  If I can help advertise my friends I will.